It has been weeks since I've posted my last entry. A lot of things has been happening to me. Just recently a tragic event just happened in my life whom I did not expect. It was all of a sudden. Its like a smash of a big hammer onto me.
Well indeed it hurts. I can't accept it. It's like the whole world crashed down on me. I am devastated.
From that moment I felt guilty... Guilty because I let my world evolve around him... Guilty because I let myself a second priority... Guilty because I never gave myself a chance to stand up alone...
I was seeking for an advice from my friend (a true friend, i can attest to that..) and gave me some things in life that I lack and probably remember... out of the conversation i tried to create a quote.
"Loving someone is a huge responsibility and it involves a lot of sacrifices. If you're not mature enough to handle that, then you are not ready to commit. If you keep on holding what you are, then you will never find your true self."
Right now.. I'm still not losing hope... I am still hoping... Hoping that everything will be fixed, hoping that everything will be alright... Not in an instant but in gradual phase... I'm not closing doors for chances for its not asked... its given... I can and will wait...
With this tragic moment... I am facing a new me... A person who does not quit, a person who is determined and motivated... A person who prioritize himself and a person who stand alone...
It was a boring day for me. We don't have any workload to do for the whole shift. I was busy reading some stuff when suddenly my teammate was able to find a website where you can check whats it means.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.
This is the time when I decided to work here in Cebu and join the crowd. This is the time when I decided to leave the company when I feel that I’m not well compensated considering the tenureship, dedication and hard work that I gave to the company.
It is on this year when I found a new home, new career and new “me”. Though a lot of struggle came when I’m still on a transition from the things that I am used to be to the things that is New to me. It is also on this time when I decided to leave and let go of someone I knew and been longing for. Well it really felt good.
In this year, I found myself all alone and felt that I’m fooled to those people whom I thought who would save me of what I’ve become.
But evetually, someone came. And thought me how to be open again and tells me there’s more to life than the four walls of my room.
This is the time when I truly understand what Unconditional Love is and knowing how to keep it.
It is the time when I found true friends that really understand and cares.
Its been a good year to me. Hoping for a better, happy and worth living 2009.
I am a man with few words. I want the world to be in an innovative yet very simple place to live. I am the type of person whom i will do everything just to make other people happy as long as they deserve to be happy. happy go lucky yet very emotional.